Tell me one thing that you did when you were young that you absolutely loved. It was probably second nature and engrained in your day-to-day life. Do you still do it? Or have you set it aside as something that was childish or unnecessary? What do you do now that brings you pure joy?
When I was young, I loved to draw. Pencils, crayons, markers, it didn’t matter. Singing was my second language. I could spend hours playing alone, lost inside a fantasy world I created inside my head. I never felt alone when I was immersed in one of these activities.
As I got older, the world slowly invaded these sacred areas of my life. The love of art became art classes where every detail of my creation was analyzed and graded. Band moved into my life and I disappeared into a sea of faces playing what was instructed. Choir was a structure that robbed the freedom from my song. Fantasy was a game for children that I was forced to leave behind.
As I grew and became more a part of the world around me, I started to notice things.
My artwork wasn’t that amazing when I put it beside some of my classmate’s work. I wasn’t as skilled at the clarinet as others. I didn’t sing as well as some of the other talented people around me. I was too guarded for drama and I was much too embarrassed to share my imaginary world on paper.
Eventually, everything that was creative and unique about me disappeared to the outside world. I kept it hidden under lock and key and carefully guarded. I settled back into my grown-up life where the only talents that are valued are the things that create an income.
God has been working on me. He’s always working on me, but He’s really been working on me in this area of talent and creativity. He started by placing me within a church filled with people who are crazy talented in so many areas. They are encouraging and vulnerable with their own talents and skills. This is my safe place.
First, he called me out to start singing with the worship team. I went in protesting, kicking and screaming, and dragging my heels the whole way. I was loved and encouraged and gently pushed behind that microphone again. He didn’t reveal amazing hidden “Star Search” talent but He redeemed my freedom. I found joy in His song again and freedom in worship.
Not too long after, during a ministry time, a young man asked me if I paint. That took me back a little because nobody knew about that hidden desire. I told him I hadn’t in a very long time, and he said, “You should paint.” Wanting to be obedient but not understanding the reason, I got some paint and canvases and set to work. The best art lessons I’ve ever received were from the Holy Spirit during that time. He taught me to trust myself and to stop overthinking and overcomplicating things. He showed me how I can destroy a piece by straining for perfection. I learned to love what I put on the canvas and know that it was okay that it didn’t look like Michelangelo or Vincent van Gough. It was uniquely mine, just as God intended it to be.
Now, He’s working on the writing. I love to write; factual pieces are the easiest. They are safe, but I can feel Him digging in and drawing out that deeper more vulnerable part of me. I’m slightly terrified, but excitedly anticipating what He will teach me through it.
I know that my story isn’t unique. I’ve heard people say many times, “I used to do (insert talent here) when I was (insert time frame). I don’t know why I stopped.” Does Satan have something to gain by stifling the passions that God put inside of us from birth? He must! We are easily deceived by the lies that tell us it doesn’t matter, it isn’t good enough, it’s childish, or that we are just too busy for it.
I’ve come to realize that creativity is a huge part of who God is. Look around! He created everything we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. He created us with every sense needed take it all in! He is revealing Himself to us through His creation every moment of every day. We are made in His image. Of course, He would pass along some of His beautiful creative nature to us! Just as He uses everything for His glory, He also uses that little bit of talent the He placed in us for His glory as well. He can’t use it if we keep it tucked away inside and hidden from the world.
There is a freedom in the creative. It cannot be contained in a box and conformed to this world. It has no rules or boundaries. God uses it to touch our own souls deep inside and sometimes, He uses it to touch the people around us. There is a risk in the exposure of the heart that comes with revealing that passion to the world. There is a deeper reason for it, a much greater purpose than just making great music, presenting beautiful colors, or putting pretty words on paper. You just have to let go, trust Him show you what it is, and embrace the vulnerability that comes with it.
